Babbling Incoherence No Excuse

Babbling Incoherence No Excuse by Roxanne McDonald

Lindsay Low-han high and driving. Again. But that’s not even the worst of it: she has a boat-load of excuses and justifications handy for just such an occasion, being a brat celebrity who plans on doing this again….

Does the three-strikes policy hold for celebrities? If so, Lins and Paris and whoever else is on their second law-breaking stint should seriously take heed. If not, why not?

And for those of us not up on who in the spoiled circles has been busted for doing what every other common citizen in the free world (or in the states with DUI/DWI laws) would be considered dangerous for doing even once, start watching the practices of the dressers at Madame Trousseau’s Wax Museum (reports TMZ): thus far, Paris and Lindsay are dressed in old-time prison stripes.

More universal than the California county jails’ orange, I suppose. [But cheekier, funnier.]

My God, I understand the disease that is addiction, and I have nothing really against Lindsay Lohan. [As Christa Miller’s “Scrubs” character, Jordan, would say, I nothing her. Don’t care either way for her acting or for what she does or doesn’t do…. EXCEPT when it comes to possible killing and or maiming.

Then there are the oddly unnecessarily related excuses: someone was chasing her? So did that make you guzzle enough booze to make you more fu—ed up than Tiffany on “Rock of Love” at that time, so that by the time you were pulled over you were off the breathalyzer scale?

Maybe I am confusing stories.

Then again, maybe I am not the one confused: after her arrest, Lohan wrote in an email to “Access Hollywood” that [and I do the numbering here of her excuses]

1) she is “innocent”
2) she did not do drugs [those including the cocaine found on her person]
3) they were not her drugs [of course she was such a generous soul that she offered to hold them for a friend, I bet]
4) the mother of her assistant tried to hit her [what!?]
5) and she would “…appreciate everyone giving me my privacy.”

Excuses of course would be lonely without additional incoherent/non-sequitur explanations, but her explanation of being the victim of a chase, of saying it was all someone else’s doing, dope, and debacle…nice try, are countered by those actually involved:

Dante Nigro, Jakon Stter, and Ronnie Blake tell it differently. They say she was trying to drive drunk after an argument, that when Dante tried to grab the wheel (?), she said she would “sue” if he touched her, that she was the one doing the chasing and CIRCLING of the other vehicle on Pacific Coast Highway, and…, and…, that she couldn’t possibly get in any trouble, she said, for SHE is a CELEBRITY.

Can you say, “Gimme a double…SCRAM probation bracelet, that is”?

Get out of those overpriced cars, donate them to charity, and clean up your act so you have time to do just that—act on screen rather than act out on innocent and unsuspecting potential victims.

Celebrity Spider Lindsay Lohan links

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