It’s Not Polite to Point, But…
It’s Not Polite to Point, But… by Roxanne McDonald
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It should be okay to point at the mother-daughter team who points out people and their, ahem, flaws, all the time. |
When I was a teen still living at home, the television was for us one of the four ways our family connected. That is, we came together through work on our small subsistence farm, over meals, for card and board games, and for TV.
When there was no sit-com, Wild World of Sports event, or variety show on, we got a rare chance to hear a stand-up comic. One of those was Joan Rivers, whom my mother loved for all her self-effacing Jewish beauty jokes. (read more…)
What to Say to Wonderful, Worrisome Woody
What to Say to Wonderful, Worrisome Woody by Roxanne McDonald
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The intellectual comic of renown braves the public, but how do we brave meeting him? |
Woody Allen is world renown. No shit. In some parts of the globe he is most fondly recognized for his musical talents, taking as he does his New Orleans Jazz Band to regular Monday night sets at the Carlyle Hotel in Manhattan and to concerts around the world (such as to the Vienne Jazz Festival)—to sold-out venues.
In other, or most, parts, Woody is known for his hyper-comedies (Everything You Wanted to Know about Sex…), his satires (Deconstructing Harry), his mocumentaries (Sweet and Lowdown), and his dramas deep and compelling (Interiors).
He is also, of course, known for his scandalous marriage to adopted daughter Sun Yi.
But for a select pocket of the universe, Woody Allen is respected and appreciated for his intellectual prowess. In a number of his comic dramas and straight-up comedies, the running existential concepts, thoughts, dialogues, and running voiceover commentaries make for unparalleled entertainment. (read more…)
Joshua Jackson, a.k.a. Pacey, Yummy Teacher’s Pet
Joshua Jackson, a.k.a. Pacey, Yummy Teacher’s Pet by Roxanne McDonald
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Celebrity mags feature photos of Jackson and Kruger, but more interesting is Josh as solo [and sexy] talent. |
Grocery store impulse rags and countless online boards and news sites show photos of Josh and his latest flame, Diane Kruger, German actress best known for her roles in National Treasure and Troy. He and his evidently new girlfriend were spotted by Star, for example, dining at Chin Chin in West Hollywood, the accompanying blurb emphasizing how all eyes were on the couple…and all minds likely on the question of whether the two are as serious as they appeared to be.
Interesting is how (though the mag overlooked the irony) the photo shows Dian stroking Joshua’s chin…at the restaurant Chin-Chin, heh, heh. (read more…)
Has Prince Lorenzo Borghese Broken the Promise of His Ring?
Has Prince Lorenzo Borghese Broken the Promise of His Ring? by Roxanne McDonald
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Are the rumors and photos and past Bachelor track (running) records indicators of yet another broken relationship? |
He was the finest, classiest, most intelligent, and wittiest bachelor to date. He presented his chosen chickee, Jennifer Wilson, with a promise ring, in token TV pre-pre-engagement gesture. The Bachelor reality TV-viewing crowd went wild…with happiness for two who made a lovely couple.
But, according to Star and other sources (and Star writer, Heidi Parker), our perfect prince may pussyfooting it off the bridal path. Reportedly, Prince Lorenzo Borghese attended an NYC’s Rolling with Style charity event in early February—sans Wilson. There he was spotted chatting with Deborah Gibson. But more than just chatting with her, it is now implied, Lorenzo was looking her up and down, doing the breast-gaping thing, and also suggesting the two “get together when he’s in L.A. next.”
The question Parker poses is whether the latest bachelor is the next “runaway groom.”
If he is, he is in bigger than smaller company of past bachelors who did the same or had similar done to them: as I have written about the runaways before (see The Bachelor articles at TV Robot), I will just mention here how Alex Michel (season one) was dumped by Amanda Marsh when Michel continued an ongoing thing with his second choice, Trista Rehn; Aaron Buerge (season 2) dumped his intended, Helene Eksterowicz, at a Starbucks; Andrew Firestone (season 3) had what was reportedly an “amicable” break-up with Jen Schefft; and Bob Guiney broke his promise to Estella Gardinier…over the phone.
Maybe Prince Lorenzo is breaking his promise via celebrity magazine photos of him with Deborah Gibson?
Given his manners, though, I doubt it.
Does Jo De La Rosa Belong on Real Housewives of Orange County?
Does Jo De La Rosa Belong on Real Housewives of Orange County? by Roxanne McDonald
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Why is a woman who decries huswifery included as one of the key figures on a show starring housewives? |
She’s pretty enough and personality-deprived enough in that paper doll replicant way—perfect teeth, Orange County maintained (or upgraded?) bod, exaggerated (unearned) sense of entitlement she never fails to show off….
She’s definitely not camera shy, doing everything on TV from dressing (or half-dressing) for a Playboy Mansion party to pursuing a singing (ugh) career to shamelessly exposing her lack of cooking skills (or her absolute ignorance of cooking anything, even basic recipes for which she complains she had no idea she had to buy ingredients…whine).
My gripe is what the hell Jo De La Rosa is doing on “The Real Housewives of Orange County”? She is anything but a housewife. She isn’t and never was Shane’s wife. She isn’t and never was anyone’s wife. She doesn’t work in the house, stay in the house, or do anything herself, anything a housewife would do—fifty years ago or today—because she can’t do anything…or refuses to. She doesn’t even give the otherwise spoiled, over-privileged housewives (Lori) who run a home and work (Vicki) a good name.
I know, I know: one, the whole premise of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” is likely one created with a tongue in cheek, that the “real” housewives are those who defy huswifery as we commoners might define it. And two, just writing about Jo calls even more attention to the undeserving dilettante, as any publicity is publicity, etc. etc. But still, do we really need to be reminded of how unprivileged most of us are by way of being subjected to a one-dimensional and terribly uninteresting anti-housewife?
SirLinksAlot Real Housewives of Orange County links
TV Robot’s Real Housewives of Orange County
Justin Timberlake not Normal???
Justin Timberlake not Normal??? by Roxanne McDonald
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According to one celebrity stalkers mag, Justin has his moments of abnormalcy. Who cares? He’s still a hottie who can howl. |
So Star magazine has this ongoing section they have been running for a couple of years now that is fun to gloss over called “Stars: Are They Normal or Not?” The feature pictures of seven or eight celebrities doing various somethings and then label each shot with a decisive “NORMAL” or “NOT NORMAL”.
In the February 26, 2007 issue, Star features Justin Timberlake: the photo is one of him doing a repeat performance of a skit he participated in on SNL, wherein he has an actual package attached to his, er, package area—the title of the skit having been “Dick in a Box.” And the Star label is, of course, “NOT NORMAL.”
Now, yeah, yeah, any publicity is good publicity, but what works for Justin is what has worked for several celebs—a combination of talent to begin with, some shock schlock, and re-invention. It worked for Madonna, who reshaped her performance persona several times and in several ways over the decades that not only kept with the times but kept the times with her interesting. It worked, in a different way, for Michael Jackson.
And just as it works (or will work) for a new Brit who has shaved her head, gotten tats, and turned herself in to rehab, it apparently suffices as strategy for the NSYNC Boy with a white boy fro turned spotlight boyfriend to Brit turned Super Bowl shock agent turned bluesy, jazzy vocal genius with a close to the head haircut and a package on his pee-pee.
And hey, I recall when “NOT NORMAL” for Star was a thong showing above the jeans. So, take it for what it’s worth.
Justin Timberlake at Celebrity Spider
All That, Too Fat, What’s That Aside, What Happened to Britney’s Song?
All That, Too Fat, What’s That Aside, What Happened to Britney’s Song? by Roxanne McDonald
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As Britney Spears fan Mike Liebner suggests, maybe it’s time to let up on the kid. But I am curious to find out if, much like a one-hit wonder once was, whether Britney was one of the flash in the night phenoms who will now go the way of archived infamy…or will just go away? |
I really liked Britney in a general I’m-interested-when- she-comes-on-TV-way. But now I don’t know if I am disappointed, disillusioned, or just feel sorry for her.
The first time I was made aware of a pop phenomenon millions were already hooked on was when I was at a former writing student’s apartment where I had gone to talk about co-writing a play or some such project.
There in Roger’s place was a giant Britney Spears poster. Besides, Roger talked about “Brit” as if she were one of his many girlfriends, so I was impressed with the impact the then 18–year-old had on men of all ages.
After that, as synchronicity has a way of instantly and repeatedly revealing subsequent manifestations of the thing/person you have just become aware of, I heard Britney’s name often, saw several similar posters, caught an earful of “Oops, I Did it Again” or maybe “I’m Not That Innocent”, and saw her on SNL, I think it was.
I was fascinated. What an entertaining performer.
Then there was the Britney/Madonna kiss, the barefoot and pregnant Brit, the underwear-less crotch shots, the exposed bruise-on-baby’s-head photos, the relentless fighting with Federline stories, the shaved head, the rehab reports.
Now there are [still] the fat Britney with greasy (died) hair, cigarette-in-hand, thong underwear exposed photos and mocking commentaries…. [And you can’t tell me this latest Britney has intentionally re-created herself for publicity purposes, even if doing something like going barefoot or shaving one’s head was.]
And in the cyclone of celebrity potshots, I stop for a millisecond and say hey, what happened to the music?
Britney Spears at Celebrity Spider
Britney Spearheads a Movement?
Britney Spearheads a Movement? by Roxanne McDonald
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“Cat in the Rain.” Jo March. Della. Lieutenant Jordan O’Neil. Britney Spears. |
What do all of the above women have in common? They cut their own hair. What do they not share in common? Well, technically, Britney is not a character in a film or book. Or is she? Has she become a character of popular culture, as so many celebrities are snared into becoming?
The questions have come up, the rumors have run the gamut: is Britney making a feminist statement out of revenge against a husband who does not pay enough attention to her, as did Cat (Catherine) in Hemingway’s “Cat in the Rain”? She didn’t shave her once goldie locks to sell them and get some cash for a train ticket or a watch fob, as did, respectively, Jo in Little Women cut her hair so she’d have emergency travel money, or Della in The Gift of the Maji, so she’d have a Christmas gift for her mate. She didn’t know (or did she?) that hair is as significant to the Talmud as it is in the Bible, and therefore was making a break-up statement to ex “fling” Isaac Cohen. And she’s not, as far as we know enlisting.
She is in rehab. She was big on making changes to her hair at signpost changes in her personal/public life.
As E! Online’s Joal Ryan (one of the best pop culture writers on the web) notes, “In the beginning, the hair was worn in pigtails. Then it got freer and longer. Then shorter. Then darker. Then blonder. Then longer. Then darker…. But no hairstyle provoked more reaction than no hairstyle. The close shave was, depending on the theory or rumor, a cry for help, a bid for publicity, or even an attempt to avoid a drug test.”
As Ryan also says, “Maybe Spears was making a statement, or maybe she wasn’t. Either way, she made one.”
And there’s the thing. Had she been one of our college buddies who shaves her head at the end of every major exam or one of our greased-up mega-heroes who shaves his head so he won’t show his male pattern baldness but we think it is so he can look neo-futuristic, ala Bruce Willis or Vin Diesel, we would not have spilled gallons of ink on theorizing.
But since she is Britney Spears, we have to ooh and ahh and analyze and theorize. Writers like Mike Liebner (of TV Robot and Celebrity Robot) hate this, and suggest we just leave her alone.
Writers and professors of gender studies, like Diana York Blaine of USC, point to politics. Sexual politics.
And culture points to the inevitable: if you are in any way advanced enough that you understand or appreciate or are part of the progression of unisexuality, you might shave your head as you nod it toward androgyny. Or, if you are a character in a book, a film, or the high-profile state that is celebrity, you might just shave your head for a significant reason, a motivated reason, or no reason at all, knowing that you will make a statement after which several possible interpretations will follow.
Britney Spears at Celebrity Spider
Nicole Richie Not So Bad
Nicole Richie Not So Bad by Roxanne McDonald
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So adorable—clear and creamy skinned and smart aleck instigator of “The Real Life” antics…. |
Then she and Paris Hilton have a parting of the ways. She splits with her boyfriend, Adam Goldstein (a.k.a. DJ AM). The next thing we know, she is charged with DUI and is wraith thin, near death [some fear] at eighty-five pounds.
Hollywood peer pressure is brutal, granted. To be and stay in, you typically must keep in super shape—but often at the risk of health. But who says Nicole’s weight issues are caused by Hollywood protocol?
The control issues that ride like a hungry monkey on the anorexic’s back can cause a cycle of binging and purging (or just purging, or just over-exercising) that paradoxically makes for a woman who appears to be out of control. But Nicole has said she is not anorexic, is not bulimic, and does not have an eating disorder. She has also said other things, responding in various ways to anyone saying she has a problem: Nicole said to Vanity Fair interviewers that she was aware of how she was too thin, how she wouldn’t want little girls trying to emulate her, and how she was actually concerned with her weigh to the point of consulting with nutritionists, doctors, personal trainers, and psychiatrists to investigate what the problem was and to help her get weight back on. She said to Elle Girl that “skinny was her natural body type…,” that “there wasn’t anything she could do about it,” and that as the skinny one she was then (2006), she “couldn’t imagine having to always wear a bra.”
But putting all of the conflicting responses aside, I wonder if another variable isn’t responsible, here. If, say, at the most unconscious of levels, Nicole was exacting a kind of social/emotional revenge, she might have been attempting to look as much like Paris as she could.
My armchair psychology is wanting, I know. And my “theory” is likely not new.
I just wanted to acknowledge what a loss it seems to be for those of us who liked “The Simple Life” and who found Nicole the reason, her being by far the most interesting of the two socialites, her having earned her fame more so than Paris ever had to, and her being, if you ask me, the much better looking of the two.
Stay on that climb, Nicole. And bring back your cheeky, smart-ass irreverence. We need more attitudes like yours, not more skinny minnies with little to contribute.
Nicole Richie at Celebrity Spider
Keith Urban, Squared
Keith Urban, Squared by Roxanne McDonald
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Keith Urban wants his name all to himself, but is that reasonable? |
This article should be about Keith Urban the artist from New Jersey. This article most likely would not have been written just about Keith Urban the Australian Country Music crooner (a.k.a. Nicole Kidman’s post-Tom Cruise partner). But I have just read about how the latter has, as far as I’m concerned, taken his self-importance a bit too far.
Keith Urban the Australian country star has a website, keithurban.net.
Keith Urban the American painter has a website, keithurban.com.
Keith Urban the singer has had a hissy fit and is now reportedly suing (according to Star, stuff.co.nz, and others) Keith Urban the artist, claiming the painter’s site “leads to confusion and deception.” He wants (also according to stuff.co.nz) the painter’s site to be shut down and the domain name be transferred to his ownership. As well, he is asking for monetary damages.
Okay. Sigh. First, the singer surely has plenty of fans and followers who will be able to find him if they so wish to. Even if they are not the sharpest tools in the techno-box, they will be able to figure out within the amount of time it takes to read the painter’s first sentence that they have not arrived at a Keith Urban the performer site.
Next, a reasonable celebrity, with plenty of money from his platinum albums, Grammys, and sold-out tours might relinquish some traffic (however accidental) to the painter who is actually quite good, who is not making money with ads on his site, and who is probably not stealing all that much attention away from the singer. I mean, if we want country music tickets and we end up where oils are for sale, will we suddenly change goals and buy a painting instead of concert tix?
And third, an individual can legally and legitimately own any domain name he or she wants—that is not already taken (already registered). Keith Urban the artist has had his dot com domain since 1999. In 1999, Keith Urban the singer had no site and was probably far from conceiving the idea of a site, as he was just starting his music career–to be fair, making the his first album, Keith Urban, which later went platinum, in 2003.
So Keith Urban the painter had established his (again) painting website long before Keith Urban was a superstar to anyone other than his mother. Get over yourself. And be very grateful your name isn’t John Smith, mate.
More star news at Celebrity Spider
Reality and other TV articles at TV Robot
Anna Nicole Would Have Needed to Be High
Crass? Just wait till you hear what I say before JUDGING ME! I don’t want to live by YOUR RULES MAN!
You know, I would have most likely avoided seeing any of the Anna Nicole Smith burial trials on tv had it not been for MSNBC and Tivo seeing to it that I’d be exposed unintentionally.
Last week, I think it was late Thusrday night when I intended to watch Hardball with Chris Matthews, I was instead presented with the TV coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith trial. It appeared to be live and I guess they preempted Hardball.
I kept watching as I thought for sure they’d return to the program but it kept on going.
There was Howard K Stern on a shaky camera while questions were thrown at him and some advice and odd comments flew through the air. Apparently that was the judge talking like he had shit in his mouth.
Shot for brains too, as the discussions and interrogations on Mr. Stern were as disorganized as I could ever imagine.
Various numbnuts lawyers got up and tried to entrap him on all manner of topics and I must say I was enthralled for about 20 minutes.
But it saddened me to think our court systems were actually like this. That judges such as the meally mouthed chicken legged critter up there telling his home spun logical meanderings had a position of authority. And that the lawyers who were so ill prepared jumpbled and fumbled their words to get in questions that did not even belong in a hearing about where Anna Nicole Smith would be buried. (read more…)
Elvis was My First
Elvis was My First by Roxanne McDonald
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For some of us, Elvis was the first man we loved… besides Daddy. |
So it only makes sense that when an Elvis movie comes on now, as it did for me last night, we not only watch all the way through but we are catapulted to those first days of our first love affair with the most beautiful man on the planet. We are mentally moved, but more, we are viscerally returned to time, place, sound, sight, and even smell of an earliest of experiences.
I was five years old. The place was a sparsely done
livingroom in one side of a side-by-side duplex. It was bedtime, but an Elvis movie was coming on—I think Fun in Alcapuco. Maybe Blue Hawaii. I was riveted to the olive green couch, lured by the vibrancy of song (not color, for TVs were still in black and white for us)–and rather than refuse, as they did for any other request, my parents allowed me to get blankets and pillows and fall asleep there alone to a satisfying conclusion (Elvis winning the race, getting accepted by the father, saving the day, Elvis getting the girl, or better, the girl getting Elvis) and to the residuals of “Love Me Tonight.” “Marguerite”, and “Bossa Nova Baby.”Then there were the years early morning, midday, and late night forty-fives: the fragile black discs (an inch or so bigger than today’s CDs, for you who have never seen or held a “record”) with the accompanying plastic adjustor clips you snapped in so they would fit on the LP/record player post, the simple RCA label. The hunka hunkas and the love, the up-tempo and the slow, the melodious words crooned on “Love Me Tender” and mellifluous words spoken on “Are You Lonesome Tonight?”
And now, forty years later, the same sensory and emotional satisfactions replay when Roustabout or G.I. Blues or It Happened at the World’s Fair comes on…as clearly and as movingly as they did those first years…. And I realize that besides Daddy, who was as handsome as Elvis and sang a mean Elvis tune at that, Elvis was my first love, the sexy, sensitive pretty boy who would set the template for all to come in his watery wake.
Anna Nicole Smith’s Death? Trim Spa Baby
Anna Nicole Smith’s Death? Trim Spa Baby by Roxanne McDonald
Now before you get all excited about slander and lawsuits and whatnot, know that I am only speculating and therefore am exercising that which we still consider free speech rights.
But, man, here was this gorgeous woman (well, gorgeous when she was made up), the decade’s Marilyn Monroe (whom Nicole always idolized), who gained weight (over personal traumas and such). Then, seemingly all of a sudden, this buxom and voluptuous babe is a bone with boobs. So what, right? Lot’s of stars are that thin. However…
From the very first appearances (on talk shows, in the TS commercials, on MTV Awards nights), she was showing some speedy behavior: bruxism (teeth gnashing) and tardive dyskinesia (jawing, looking like she was chewing but wasn’t, odd eye movements, tongue out of control). Her eyes were without focus, and her bodily movements and facial gestures were heavily affected (on top of how she did those grand poses, that is).
I considered the dangers of a rapid weight loss pill to be the primary causes. Of course, from what has been reported, Anna Nicole also drank heavily and in binge style, and did other recreational drugs—so the contraindications may have been the thing that caused her death. Maybe a heart attack, from the combined stress and strain of losing her son within days of his returning to her side (for her new baby’s birth) and the legal dealings (over first hubby’s money) did it.
Or maybe, as is the latest rumor—again, all, including the above, unsubstantiated—Howard K. Sterns helped along her demise.
Forensics will have to educate us, regardless of what we guess right now.
Say hello to Marilyn, Anna Nicole.
Britney Spears shaves head and goes bald? So what
So Britney shaves her head… Why is that a plea for help? Just look at Justin Timberlake… he is practically bald too… maybe he is also crying out for help.
I understand how the press needs stuff to talk and gossip about but do we really need “so called experts” on the news shows discussing how Britney Spears is crying out for help because she shaved her head??? I do not think so.
She deserves the right to be bald. I doubt she’ll do what Anna Nicole Smith did, I mean - hey - there is no comparison - Britney has never gone out in public and slurred like she’s on Heroin has she???
Leave her alone!
I do have one question though… does the carpet match the drapes? Sorry but I never took a close look at the pics from her other uproar gossip craze.
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